Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Letting Your Child Truly Succeed

I love my Buddy so much. I only want the best for him. I want him to succeed in life. He is only 19 months old but there are already so many ways I could either succeed for him or let him succeed on his own.

Buddy is short for his age, in the 10th percentile. I think this makes it more difficult for him to climb on furniture that other kids his age probably can. Sometimes he wants to get on the couch by himself so badly! Or to climb on our bed all by himself. At first he struggled and cried when he was trying to get The Hubs and I to give him a push. It is so hard to watch Buddy try a little bit and then just scream for us to put him on the couch or bed for him. But that would not help him learn how to do anything on his own, except demand help. So we let him cry and work harder to get up on his own. Now, he can scamper up the bed, turn over the laundry basket and climb on top or pull himself onto the closed toilet seat as fast as any 31" tall kid can. I'm proud of him and I tell him I am proud of how hard he works to accomplish his goals.

It's hard to watch Buddy try and fail over and over, and sometimes we give in, but in the long run, we know this is best for him. What happens when he struggles with his homework? Should I just do it for him so he can succeed in school? No. That would make him fail later in life, when school or work gets hard and mommy and daddy aren't there to save him.

Buddy has gotten into the "mine" phase, where everything he sees has to belong to him. So what happens when he is with a friend and wants what they have? Should I force either child to share, even if they don't want to? No. I let them figure it out. Even at 19 months Buddy can do a little problem solving and he'll get better as he gets older. Of course if there is ensuing violence, I step in. We all do need help sometimes. But this will help when he is on a sports team and there is a dispute over whether the ball was in or out, they can figure it out on their own.

I won't be that parent who accuses his teacher instead of him for a bad grade or missed assignment. I won't be that parent calling his professor complaining about the bad test score. I won't be that parent who runs over the second Buddy falls, gushing over a scraped knee. He will live and learn and be a stronger, more independent, mature person for it.

Check out this great post that talks about mistakes we make leading kids.

No comments:

Post a Comment