Thursday, April 18, 2013

A Bucket Full of Nerves!

The only time I have been away from Buddy since he was born was for 1 night when I went to Ohio State to run the Scanning Electron Microscope (SEM) on some samples for my research. I was nursing him 2-3 times a day at the time so I pumped once and brought home just a couple of ounces. I missed him terribly despite being incredibly busy the entire time in the lab.

I applied for a spot in a program in Alabama in June that would last 10 days. That would be 10 days away from Buddy (and The Hubs too, but I've been away for conferences before so he's fine). 10 days without nursing, which we still do before bed, usually 1-2 times during the night and again in the morning. Although it can be frustrating at times, I'm not ready for Buddy to ween and I don't think he is either.

It is a competitive program so who knows if I'll even get in, but I'm a little nervous about it if I do. I've never been away from Buddy for that long and I'm afraid I'm going to miss him so much that I won't have fun at the workshop. I'm afraid my milk is going to dry up and won't have anything for him when I return. I'm afraid he's going to want to ween because he won't have the option of nursing for a whole week and a half. I'm also a little nervous about being there on Shabbat. I can't work on Shabbat; no driving in cars, turning on lights, writing. Saturday is the day they designate as the free day so I am really hoping they allow me to go to a local place to spend Friday night through Saturday. I assume there is a Chabad or Orthodox shul close by, it is Birmingham, Alabama. All of that makes me sad to be away and nervous that my little guy will be all grown up and not want our bonding time any more.

There are so many positives to this program. It's about carbon capture, utilization and storage, the topic of my dissertation. I would learn so much about the industry, the economics, health and safety concerns, mineralization, geochemistry, public awareness, technical aspects of the technology, etc. So many amazing people from the field are in charge of it. Knowing them, having them there to ask questions and have discussions with would be absolutely amazing. Seeing a rig and how they plan on injecting the CO2 into the ground would be an awesome opportunity.  Learning about careers in the field and where the field is going, here and abroad, would be incredible.

I write about the subject and it ignites this passion inside of me. I love learning and discovering and I want to help the planet. I really want to go! I just wish I could take my guys with me. They'd allow me to put Buddy in my Boba and carry him along, right?


  1. I think you should go. This is 100% harder on you than Buddy, and you know how vital this would be for your dissertation.

    Just remember you can skype anytime. :)

    1. If I get in, I plan to go. However, I don't want my milk to dry up! It's so comforting for Buddy and helps him sleep and I still love it too. Plus, The Hubs hasn't taken him for that long ever...

      I'm not sure we could skype because he has a work computer so no skype.