I Have a Dream - Black Breastfeeding Week

August is breastfeeding awareness month because although the US has come a long way in supporting mothers, there is still a long road ahead of us. Breast milk is the best source of nutrition for infants and is good for the new mother as well. This year, nearly 77% of infants were ever breastfed. At 6 months, 49% were still breastfeeding and only 27% at 12 months.(a) Not a bad start, but not a very good one a year later.

Today, on the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech, I wish I could say his dream has been reached. As of 2008, although nearly three quarters of US babies have ever been breastfed, only 59% of black babies have.(b) That compares to 75% of white and 80% of Hispanic (non-white or black) babies. I'm not going to pretend I know why black communities aren't supporting each other to breastfeed or don't have the support from lactation consultants. I think it's a complicated issue that could pull many reasons from many ideas. Whatever the underlying cause, it's a fact. Black babies are not getting as good of a start as their white and Hispanic counterparts. We need a month for breastfeeding awareness, how much more so do we need this week to help black babies and their mothers increase the support and knowledge to give all Americans a better start?

Kimberly Seals Aller over at MochaManual.com proposed such a week. This week, the last week of August, breastfeeding awareness month, that happens to coincide with Dr. Martin Luther King's famous speech. While I don't necessarily agree with everything she wrote, you should definitely check it out and think about what she has to say. Why do so few black women choose to breastfeed?

From my limited personal experience, I can tell you it is harder for most black women than for us white women to start and continue breastfeeding. Growing up in an area that was more than 50% black, riding the bus every day to work with mostly black people and attending a breastfeeding support group for months when only 1 black women attended, and only a couple of sessions at that, I am positive the support is not there. The black woman who did attend two or three classes came with her questions and looking for support from the other mothers. Her husband didn't even want her to nurse. She said he kept asking her when she was going to stop because it's gross, not natural, those aren't for the baby. Although she had a pretty good response ("When formula is free!"), it shows what is most important for some. What if formula was free? Breast is still best for more reasons than the cost.

I dream of the day when we don't need a Black Breastfeeding Week. When all new mothers have the support they need to successfully breastfeed if they want to and have the knowledge and understanding of why it is so important to do so.

How are you going to support ALL mothers in their quest to give their babies the best start possible?


(a) CDC Breastfeeding Report Card 2013
(b) CDC Report. February 2013

Birth Story - Part 3

…In fact, all night long, I walked, lunged and plie-ed. Happy Sunday! My first full day of labor…

Monday morning came and went while I continued to walk the halls, get checked only to hear there is no more progress and then continue walking.

I mentioned previously that I wanted to meet every midwife in the practice before going into labor and managed to do so for 6 out of 8 of them. The midwife on duty when I got there was one of the women I had not met yet. There was a staff change while I was walking the halls and a new midwife came on duty then. She was the other one I had not yet met. Good timing on my part I guess! Both of them were nice, understanding and good at their job so that all worked out fine.

Sometime in the late morning or early afternoon the midwife started to suggest getting pitocin to get things moving. My contractions would be 3-4 minutes apart for a while and then slow down. I wasn’t progressing very much. I did not want pitocin. It doesn't always work, increases ones risk for a c-section and can cause very intense contractions that are not always productive. I just kept walking.

The midwife finally told me that they either have to do something or they’ll send me home. I was a little worried that if I went all the way home, then getting close to rush hour, that I wouldn't make it back to the hospital in time. I allowed them to break my water.

I got back up to walk, made it to one end of the hall and felt an immediate need to vomit. I just made it back to my room and got sick several times in the next hour (or 2? I didn’t look at a clock and didn’t really have much sense of time by then). My contractions very quickly got closer together and they hurt a lot more. I tried different positions that I learned in my Hypnobirthing class and that my mom and midwife suggested. Some of the ones that are supposed to be better for back labor just made it worse.

I was pretty nauseous and in pain during this transition period and then I felt like I had to push. They brought in the midwife and it was time to go! My mom said it took about 25 minutes to breathe out the baby. I listened to my body. When it told me to push, I pushed.

The midwife caught the baby, showed The Hubs and he exclaimed, “It’s a BOY!” We had a perfect little boy, 6 lbs, 9 oz. 20 in. long. I was able to do kangaroo care immediately and he latched on right away. The Hubs and I got a few minutes alone with our new little Buddy before being transferred from the birthing room.

After some time with all 4 grandparents, The Hubs’ brother and my sisters, we were finally alone for the night. As The Hubs got freshened up in the bathroom, he yelled to get the nurse. The faucet broke and there was water everywhere! I asked for the maintenance staff to be sent in and we needed towels and a mop. A nurse came in with a towel or two. The water was already creeping into the room so she ran out to get more help. Baby Boy was rushed to the nursery, I was rushed into a wheelchair and The Hubs grabbed all of our stuff and we sloshed out the door. Lucky for us, this meant instead of our small single room, we had a double room to ourselves. The Hubs got his own bed and we had our little Buddy back with us and he never left our side again.

I am so happy I brought my 3 support people into the birthing room with me. They all brought something different to help. Thank you mom for helping me find different positions to make the pain less intense and for rubbing my back through the contractions. Thank you to my older sister for walking the halls with me for hours, doing plies and lunges for hours and being my voice so I could focus on giving birth. And thank you especially to The Hubs for being with me throughout my entire pregnancy, supporting me and making sure I had everything I needed. Thank you for being my rock through the entire process and for helping me bring our precious little man into our lives. I could not have done it this well without any of you.

Blogger Support!

One of my favorite blogs is i am baker. She has so many amazing ideas for cakes, cookies, cupcakes and other delicious desserts. I have used this blog for inspiration for many of my treats. The author also happens to be a very sweet woman.

She posted a blog about lactation cookies that she made and got a lot of flack for it. I think posting about lactation cookies, that can be eaten by anyone and are actually relatively healthy as cookies go (they contain oatmeal, flaxseed, cinnamon and cocoa), is perfect for this blog. It's also a cookie that happens to help lactating mothers. And as any woman who has breastfed knows, it is hard work, frustrating, painful at times and we all need support every once in a while.

When baking meets motherhood we should all support each other. Please head over to i am baker and leave some love and support! There is nothing gross, perverse or negative about nursing one's child or blogging about a cookie that could help increase one's milk supply.

Click here to show your support!!!

-> http://iambaker.net/chocolate-chip-oatmeal-lactation-cookies/ <-

Buddy's Birth Story - Part 2

… The Hubs and I went to sleep that night knowing this baby would be here soon…

The contractions started coming closer together as the night wore on. They were 7-8 minutes apart by 2 am Sunday July 24. I tried to sleep in between each one and was fairly successful using my Hypnobirthing techniques. By 8 am my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart so I called my mom. I asked her to leave soon so she would make it in time for the birth. She lives just over 3 hours away so I was hoping I would make it that long. Little did I know at the time, that wouldn't be a problem. I called my older sister just after that and convinced her to start driving as well, also from 3 hours away after dropping off the kids for whom she was the nanny for the weekend. My contractions were still 3-4 minutes apart when my mom, dad, older sister and younger sister arrived about 4 hours later.

I started to get a little nauseous but wanted to keep up my strength so I snacked on Cheerios and water as much as I could stomach. I brought my yoga/birthing ball into the living room to help ease the contractions. I didn't find it very helpful. I walked around, a lot. My sisters walked me around the block. I felt pretty silly stopping every so often to have a contraction outside on a sunny Sunday. They were encouraging and worked as my stabilizers as I held onto them and breathed through each contraction.

My older sister diligently wrote down the time and length of every contraction. They seemed to be getting a little closer, though they never got very intense. I called my midwife, she told me to stay at home for a little while longer. She couldn't hear me screaming so I must not be close yet. After hours and hours of slight progress, the fear of having an unplanned home birth crept in. Both my mother and mother-in-law (over the phone to The Hubs) made me feel like this baby was coming any minute. I let my fear get to me and told everyone it was time to head to the hospital. It was a 25-30 minute drive, depending on lights and traffic, so I didn't want to be stuck at home or in the car if the baby decided to make a sudden appearance. My mom folded a towel on my seat, just in case, and The Hubs tried his best to avoid the copious number of potholes on the way there.

Once we arrived at the hospital, we had to figure out the expecting mother parking and valet service. Lucky for us, it was the front desk guy’s first day. He had no idea what was going on. Finally making our way toward the maternity ward, the elevators were busy. I climbed the 3 flights of stairs and got a nice welcome from the reception desk staff.

During my pregnancy I wanted to meet all 8 midwives in the practice because I would get whoever was on duty when I came in. I successfully met 6 of them; another one didn't take regular patients and I had to cancel my appointment for something for the other. Turns out, the first midwife on duty when I got there was one of the ones I hadn't met.

I checked in around 6 pm. They gave me a room, a hospital gown and then I got checked out (only 4 cm) and walked.

And walked…

And walked…

Then my older sister suggested plies and lunges. So we lunged and plie-ed the maternity ward hallway for hours. We heard at least 2 other babies being born. My mom, sister and The Hubs took turns walking the halls with me. My sister found the popsicles, which were really gross and artificial. But thank you sis for trying.

Then I walked…

And walked…

My sister fell asleep in the pull-out chair. I think my mom dosed off in one of the other chairs. So did The Hubs at various times. They helped me hold onto the railing that lined the walls during each contraction. During the more intense ones my mom rubbed my back. And then I walked.

Every so often the nurse or midwife would come in and check me. Not much was happening and my contractions were slowing down. So much for walking making things progress!

The anesthesiologist came in and said he wanted to meet me. My sister told him, in her very stern, authoritative, but polite voice, that we don’t need him and led him out of my room. He seemed taken aback so I guess he doesn't get many women who want natural birth! I remember being asked a couple of times about getting an epidural, but my sister always took care of the more forceful responses. That is why I wanted her there. She could put into words what I could not and people listen to her. Another reason I am so happy she was there was because she was my voice for everything. I am a quiet person in nearly everything I do. Turns out, I’m also quiet while in the process of giving birth. During every contraction I pulled my thoughts inward, thinking about the baby that would soon enter the world, focusing a lot on my breathing, trying the techniques where I focused on counting and peaceful images. With my focus also came utter silence. I closed my eyes and blocked out my surroundings. I did such a good job that the nurses and midwife would be talking to me, a contraction would come on and they wouldn't even notice. My sister had to keep telling them to wait because I was having one.

So as my birthing “staff” took turns trying to get a little sleep throughout the night, I kept walking.

And walking…

I did manage to get a few minutes of sleep here and there between contractions, especially when they had me hooked up to the fetal monitor.

And then I walked…

And walked…

In fact, all night long, I walked, lunged and plie-ed. Happy Sunday! My first full day of labor.

Buddy's Birth Story - Part 1

The first week of November 2010, I left The Hubs and boarded a plane to Denver for a geology conference. I was a little nervous, a little apprehensive and very excited. Not because I would be giving a talk in front of what turned out to be about 75 people, but because I was hoping and praying we were pregnant. After a week of lectures, posters, mountain climbing and exploring the city, never having that, “am I?!” out of my head, I got home only to have to wait another week. On a Thursday morning, it had been longer than any cycle I had in the past 12 months, probably forever. We took the test, trying to keep our eyes from wandering to it for what seemed like 3 very long minutes. It was positive!!!! We were so excited for this next stage of our life together. We calculated our due date to be July 22, 2011. My midwife told me it was the 19^th. We did not find out the sex of the baby.

My pregnancy turned out to be fairly easy. I was extremely tired in the beginning. I even fell asleep in my physical chemistry class. I don’t think I had ever fallen asleep in class before that. I started going into school later, using winter break as an excuse. I left work on time, no matter what. If I didn't, the bus ride home became nauseating because my morning sickness came on around 5 every single day. I jogged to the bus every day. I did prenatal yoga nearly every day. I remembered my kegels. I took walks. I ate a lot of Cheerios those first 3 months. The smell of corn was pretty gross the entire time, but I didn't have any real aversions or cravings. My feet and hands didn't really swell until into the 8^th month. I moved a little slower, but I didn't change any of my activities. I pushed through and found I enjoyed being pregnant. I loved the feeling of knowing I am growing a life inside of me and took the aches and pains in stride.

We told our parents at the same time, earlier than we wanted, but this baby would be the first grandchild for all of them and we wanted them to find out together. (That’s another story for another day.) We told the rest of our family soon after and our friends and bosses at 13 weeks. I never got a big round pregnant belly so I didn't get any outward questions until the 5^th month, and that was from co-workers and friends. No one ever gave me their seat on the bus or held the door for me. I didn't walk leaning back, grabbing at my back like the stereotypical pregnant woman.

Throughout my pregnancy, I knew I wanted a natural birth in a loving environment. I was going to do everything I could not to have any medical intervention. We've been having babies on our own forever, why add medication or surgical procedures, all of which have side effects? The Hubs and I prepared by taking a Hypnobirthing course and reading everything we could, from stories about natural births to where to birth to birthing positions. I wanted to be as prepared as I could.

As part of my birth plan, I needed to decide who to allow in the room with me while I birthed. I was allowed to have 3 people in the room with me. Of course, I wanted The Hubs in there with me. He took the Hypnobirthing course with me and has been my rock not only during the pregnancy, but since we started dating in 2003. I knew he would be supportive and make sure I had everything I needed. I decided I also wanted my mom, because, well, she’s my mom. As an added bonus, she had 5 kids of her own so she’s been through the birthing process several times, with a few different outcomes. This was her first grandchild so I thought it would be very special for her. I was thinking about letting my older sister in with me too. We didn't get along very well; we were bitter rivals in a number of ways for a number of reasons. But she is also assertive and could help make sure the hospital staff did what I wanted. And even though we never got along, I still wanted her to experience the birth of my baby. She wants children and I always expected her to have kids before my other sister or brother but she is not able to have children. I tried to be as sympathetic about my pregnancy as I could and I thought that sharing this experience with her would bring us closer together and show her how much she can contribute as an aunt. I am so thankful I did.

On July 21^st, the temperature reached well into the 90s with a heat index of over 115ºF. I decided that was just too hot for me to get to the bus and stand outside for at least the 15 minutes it took to get there and wait for the bus and then I would hope the air conditioning was working that day. The weather on July 22^nd was much the same, so I stayed home.

On Saturday July 23^rd I was at a friend’s house down the street for lunch when I started to feel this pain radiate from my back and curl around toward my front. A bad cramp that didn't go away when I took a deep breath or stood up. My contractions had started. They were far apart and erratic so I didn't pay much attention to them. Later that afternoon I went to another friend’s house to study Torah and chat over some fruit and homemade dessert. The contractions were coming a little more frequently, but I kept them hidden. I don’t think I heard every word my friend said that day, I’m sorry for that. Hopefully she understands. When a contraction came on, I brought my thoughts inward without changing my outward appearance.

July 23rd, 11:45 pm

The Hubs and I went to sleep that night knowing this baby would be here soon.

Part 2!

A Conversation: Daddy's Bread!

It's the night before Tisha B'Av, a very important fast for Jews. (To learn more about that day, the customs and why this day is the saddest day in Jewish history, read this.) It's a custom to eat a meal of bread and eggs on the floor. The Hubs and I each have a piece of bread and an egg while we sit in the living room. Buddy is dancing around with his bread, that he quickly finishes.

Buddy: (Taking my bread) He-ar Daddy! Eat!
Me: That's my bread, Buddy.
Buddy: (Taking The Hub's bread) He-ar Mommy! Eat!
Me: Thank you. (Eats bread)
Buddy: (Crying, with real tears and everything) Mommy eat Daddy's bread! Not nice!
Me: Daddy said I could eat it and look, Daddy has bread too.
Buddy: (Still crying) Mommy eat Daddy's bread! Mommy!!!!! (Flops down in sadness)
Me: Let me get Daddy a new piece of bread, ok?
Buddy: Ok. Daddy new bread!

Sink or Float?

As a toddler, Buddy wants to explore the world. He is trying to figure out how everything works. In order to encourage his enthusiasm for the world around him, I set up his pool for a little experiment of "sink or float?"

I put a few inches of water in the pool, we gathered supplies from around the house and yard and started throwing them into the pool. After every addition I said, "it floats!" or "it sinks!" Buddy did repeat "sink!" or "foat!" a couple of times, but he was more interested in pouring the water out of the containers we had brought outside.

Buddy getting ready to throw in a rock.

"Sink!" The rock sinks and makes a big splash! Buddy liked to watch it splash over and over...

 I encouraged Buddy to find more objects and see if they would sink or float, but his interest was not in the experiment I had laid out. It happens! I have to go with the flow with my independent thinker. Instead of watching items sink or float, Buddy explored the properties of water. What makes the biggest splash? How much water can each container hold? What happens when I swish the rake back and forth?

Buddy would rather make waves than conduct the experiment I had laid out. 
Sometimes we just have to go with the flow and let kids be kids.

 Young kids don't always have the same thought process as adults. Sometimes it is just better to let them try their own experiment. At this age I just want to see Buddy explore and figure out how things work. The real lesson is cause and effect, not density.

Today Buddy is checking out gravity instead of density.

 This is a great activity for kids of nearly any age. As long as they aren't putting everything in their mouth, try it with toddlers a little younger or increase your learning expectations with older kids too. As children begin to understand what makes something sink or float, pick up some items that may surprise them. Pumice is a rock, but it floats! You can start talking about density and what it means and how it affects what will float or sink. Will the same objects float or sink if this experiment is done in oil? Rubbing alcohol? Salt water? Why do boats float? I'll have to borrow some older kids to show you more details, but what kind of clay boat will sink or float? If you roll clay in a ball, will it sink or float? Have them make shapes out of the clay to try to make it float. What if you put something dense in a boat? A marble will sink in water, but can they get it to float on their homemade boat?

There are so many ways to adapt this experiment for kids. Get down on your child's level and make it fun for them while they learn.