Buddy's Birth Story - Part 1

The first week of November 2010, I left The Hubs and boarded a plane to Denver for a geology conference. I was a little nervous, a little apprehensive and very excited. Not because I would be giving a talk in front of what turned out to be about 75 people, but because I was hoping and praying we were pregnant. After a week of lectures, posters, mountain climbing and exploring the city, never having that, “am I?!” out of my head, I got home only to have to wait another week. On a Thursday morning, it had been longer than any cycle I had in the past 12 months, probably forever. We took the test, trying to keep our eyes from wandering to it for what seemed like 3 very long minutes. It was positive!!!! We were so excited for this next stage of our life together. We calculated our due date to be July 22, 2011. My midwife told me it was the 19^th. We did not find out the sex of the baby.

My pregnancy turned out to be fairly easy. I was extremely tired in the beginning. I even fell asleep in my physical chemistry class. I don’t think I had ever fallen asleep in class before that. I started going into school later, using winter break as an excuse. I left work on time, no matter what. If I didn't, the bus ride home became nauseating because my morning sickness came on around 5 every single day. I jogged to the bus every day. I did prenatal yoga nearly every day. I remembered my kegels. I took walks. I ate a lot of Cheerios those first 3 months. The smell of corn was pretty gross the entire time, but I didn't have any real aversions or cravings. My feet and hands didn't really swell until into the 8^th month. I moved a little slower, but I didn't change any of my activities. I pushed through and found I enjoyed being pregnant. I loved the feeling of knowing I am growing a life inside of me and took the aches and pains in stride.

We told our parents at the same time, earlier than we wanted, but this baby would be the first grandchild for all of them and we wanted them to find out together. (That’s another story for another day.) We told the rest of our family soon after and our friends and bosses at 13 weeks. I never got a big round pregnant belly so I didn't get any outward questions until the 5^th month, and that was from co-workers and friends. No one ever gave me their seat on the bus or held the door for me. I didn't walk leaning back, grabbing at my back like the stereotypical pregnant woman.

Throughout my pregnancy, I knew I wanted a natural birth in a loving environment. I was going to do everything I could not to have any medical intervention. We've been having babies on our own forever, why add medication or surgical procedures, all of which have side effects? The Hubs and I prepared by taking a Hypnobirthing course and reading everything we could, from stories about natural births to where to birth to birthing positions. I wanted to be as prepared as I could.

As part of my birth plan, I needed to decide who to allow in the room with me while I birthed. I was allowed to have 3 people in the room with me. Of course, I wanted The Hubs in there with me. He took the Hypnobirthing course with me and has been my rock not only during the pregnancy, but since we started dating in 2003. I knew he would be supportive and make sure I had everything I needed. I decided I also wanted my mom, because, well, she’s my mom. As an added bonus, she had 5 kids of her own so she’s been through the birthing process several times, with a few different outcomes. This was her first grandchild so I thought it would be very special for her. I was thinking about letting my older sister in with me too. We didn't get along very well; we were bitter rivals in a number of ways for a number of reasons. But she is also assertive and could help make sure the hospital staff did what I wanted. And even though we never got along, I still wanted her to experience the birth of my baby. She wants children and I always expected her to have kids before my other sister or brother but she is not able to have children. I tried to be as sympathetic about my pregnancy as I could and I thought that sharing this experience with her would bring us closer together and show her how much she can contribute as an aunt. I am so thankful I did.

On July 21^st, the temperature reached well into the 90s with a heat index of over 115ºF. I decided that was just too hot for me to get to the bus and stand outside for at least the 15 minutes it took to get there and wait for the bus and then I would hope the air conditioning was working that day. The weather on July 22^nd was much the same, so I stayed home.

On Saturday July 23^rd I was at a friend’s house down the street for lunch when I started to feel this pain radiate from my back and curl around toward my front. A bad cramp that didn't go away when I took a deep breath or stood up. My contractions had started. They were far apart and erratic so I didn't pay much attention to them. Later that afternoon I went to another friend’s house to study Torah and chat over some fruit and homemade dessert. The contractions were coming a little more frequently, but I kept them hidden. I don’t think I heard every word my friend said that day, I’m sorry for that. Hopefully she understands. When a contraction came on, I brought my thoughts inward without changing my outward appearance.

July 23rd, 11:45 pm

The Hubs and I went to sleep that night knowing this baby would be here soon.

Part 2!

A Conversation: Daddy's Bread!

It's the night before Tisha B'Av, a very important fast for Jews. (To learn more about that day, the customs and why this day is the saddest day in Jewish history, read this.) It's a custom to eat a meal of bread and eggs on the floor. The Hubs and I each have a piece of bread and an egg while we sit in the living room. Buddy is dancing around with his bread, that he quickly finishes.

Buddy: (Taking my bread) He-ar Daddy! Eat!
Me: That's my bread, Buddy.
Buddy: (Taking The Hub's bread) He-ar Mommy! Eat!
Me: Thank you. (Eats bread)
Buddy: (Crying, with real tears and everything) Mommy eat Daddy's bread! Not nice!
Me: Daddy said I could eat it and look, Daddy has bread too.
Buddy: (Still crying) Mommy eat Daddy's bread! Mommy!!!!! (Flops down in sadness)
Me: Let me get Daddy a new piece of bread, ok?
Buddy: Ok. Daddy new bread!

Sink or Float?

As a toddler, Buddy wants to explore the world. He is trying to figure out how everything works. In order to encourage his enthusiasm for the world around him, I set up his pool for a little experiment of "sink or float?"

I put a few inches of water in the pool, we gathered supplies from around the house and yard and started throwing them into the pool. After every addition I said, "it floats!" or "it sinks!" Buddy did repeat "sink!" or "foat!" a couple of times, but he was more interested in pouring the water out of the containers we had brought outside.

Buddy getting ready to throw in a rock.

"Sink!" The rock sinks and makes a big splash! Buddy liked to watch it splash over and over...

 I encouraged Buddy to find more objects and see if they would sink or float, but his interest was not in the experiment I had laid out. It happens! I have to go with the flow with my independent thinker. Instead of watching items sink or float, Buddy explored the properties of water. What makes the biggest splash? How much water can each container hold? What happens when I swish the rake back and forth?

Buddy would rather make waves than conduct the experiment I had laid out. 
Sometimes we just have to go with the flow and let kids be kids.

 Young kids don't always have the same thought process as adults. Sometimes it is just better to let them try their own experiment. At this age I just want to see Buddy explore and figure out how things work. The real lesson is cause and effect, not density.

Today Buddy is checking out gravity instead of density.

 This is a great activity for kids of nearly any age. As long as they aren't putting everything in their mouth, try it with toddlers a little younger or increase your learning expectations with older kids too. As children begin to understand what makes something sink or float, pick up some items that may surprise them. Pumice is a rock, but it floats! You can start talking about density and what it means and how it affects what will float or sink. Will the same objects float or sink if this experiment is done in oil? Rubbing alcohol? Salt water? Why do boats float? I'll have to borrow some older kids to show you more details, but what kind of clay boat will sink or float? If you roll clay in a ball, will it sink or float? Have them make shapes out of the clay to try to make it float. What if you put something dense in a boat? A marble will sink in water, but can they get it to float on their homemade boat?

There are so many ways to adapt this experiment for kids. Get down on your child's level and make it fun for them while they learn.

Saving the World 1 CO2 Molecule at a Time!

Ok, so I may not be saving the world, but if I am going to work then I want to do something that makes a real difference. My current research deals with carbon capture and storage (CCS), which is starting to become carbon capture UTILIZATION and storage (CCUS). The idea is that we are emitting too much carbon dioxide, or CO2, into the atmosphere so there are scientists and engineers working on finding a way to keep it out of the air.

A quick science lesson: Why should we care about CO2? Although CO2 makes up just a small amount of the air we breathe, it is a big deal when it comes to greenhouse gases. CO2 is good at reflecting radiation back to the Earth that would otherwise escape out to space, trapping heat like a greenhouse used to grow plants. Basically, as more CO2 is released, more heat is trapped on Earth causing temperatures to rise. To learn more, check out this site.

Burning fossil fuels is accelerating the CO2 rise so I want to figure out the best way to reduce our output. Right now, we rely heavily on fossil fuels to live. We use electricity, drive cars and cook. How can we reduce our carbon footprint while living in the way we want to live? We have to reduce our fossil fuel consumption, but coal, oil and gas are not going anywhere any time soon. While many people are working on technology that makes these resources more efficient, we need an immediate fix. I think the best way to do something right now is to capture that CO2 and bury it deep underground in very very salty reservoirs.

I am looking at what happens when CO2 is injected into these reservoirs. How much CO2 can be dissolved in the brine (the very very salty water) that is in the formations? What happens to the rock that makes up the reservoirs? Will the CO2 stay where we put it? As a PhD student, I kind of bury my head in the sand and only look at my part of this issue. The RECS program that I have been so excited about, helped me take my head out of the sand and breathe in all the CO2 we've been emitting. Over the next couple of days I will recap my experience and talk about the current research in the field.

~photo from Pamela Tomski~
Me in front of the National Carbon Capture Center

As parents, why do we even care? When there are so many other things to care about, does climate change really have to be another thing to worry about? Yes, we do need to worry about it. Some places may just get warmer so we'll have warmer winters and longer summers. Greenland may turn green again and crops may be able to grow there. But with warmth comes the spread of disease. Flowers are blooming earlier, but the bugs and birds that pollinate them are not yet migrating north earlier. Some places may get so hot it won't be safe to be outside. We are getting more intense storms with more frequency. There is more drought which cause more forest fires. Sure, we can try to adapt, but what about those who can't? Billions of people around the world are without air conditioners and a steady supply of food that can withstand drought. We should care about people in the world today, and especially about our children. What kind of world do we want to leave them? I hope to leave a world where they don't have to worry about going outside on a hot summer's day because it's too hot to breathe. A world where they don't have to worry about where they will get their next glass of water. A world where there is a New York that is still above water. What kind of world do you want to leave your children?

9 Days of Being a Single Dad

I'm off to Alabama! Check out my trip here, it's pretty cool! I get to tour several plants, do field work and there are lectures from some amazing people in the field. The Hubs is staying home with Buddy. I'm sure he's going to be an amazing job. They'll have great father-son bonding. But it will be hard and exhausting. Buddy is trying to be more and more independent, which is great. Except it means that if he doesn't want to get dressed yet, he's not getting dressed. Sometimes that makes getting Buddy ready in the morning a 2 person job.

Buddy wears what he wants to wear when he wants to where it.
1 winter hat and 3 jackets for a friend's wedding last
weekend when it was in the high 70s. 

I got an extra big hug and kisses from Buddy this morning. He has clung to me like he knows something is not quite right. Little does he know that his mommy won't be there for him for 9 days. It makes me very sad thinking about him calling for me and not being able to come to him. To hear him wake in the morning and call my name, only to have to be comforted by daddy. I am afraid this is going to make Buddy wean before either of us are ready. I can't put into words what I feel about coming back home to him after so long away. Will he run into my arms or will he be hesitant because I haven't been there for a week and a half? What is his little almost 2 year old brain thinking? I know he'll remember me, know who I am. But will it have hurt him for me to leave him?

I am going to miss my boys so much, but know The Hubs will do great with Buddy. They have am excellent relationship and I'm sure this will only make it stronger.

Playing in the Rain!

It's raining! I don't think buddy even realized it.

When Buddy was very little, he hated the rain. We came running into the house with our little bundle in our arms while he contorted his face in dislike as he was pelted with rain. Oh how times have changed! We've had a lot of rain this spring. Buddy LOVES to be outside. He seems to no longer care about the rain, if he even notices.




Being the loving parents that we are, we offered an umbrella to Buddy so he could continue to play without getting too wet.

I thought he was just too cute not to share! Here he is getting used to the umbrella and watching the rain fall all around him. He likes to point out everyone's house and tell us what they are doing. They are all usually sleeping. "[Mr.] K seeping! Wiyam seeping! Rabbi baby seeping!" as he pointed to each house. How nice would that be to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon!

I asked Buddy to turn so I can take a picture. He turns and says, "Cheese!" I absolutely love this one and am planning on blowing it up for my wall. Maybe on a canvas? It's definitely one of my all-time favorite of him.

After figuring out how the umbrella is supposed to work, Buddy decided he really doesn't care about getting wet and just want to play with his new toy. We even took a walk with it and he asked for it for days. Even when it wasn't raining.

My 2 Fulltime Jobs

For a career, I love 2 things. 1) I love being a mom. I would love to be there all the time (well, sometimes I'm tired and don't know how I can keep my patience to deal with another toddler tantrum). I want to be there for every new word, every new skill, every time Buddy scrapes his knee and needs mommy kisses. 2) I love being a scientist. I would love to be a scientist all the time (well, sometimes I feel like throwing my lab equipment out the window and going all Office Space on it). I want to be there for the newest break-through, for when the lightbulb goes off in my students' heads and when my papers get published (my theoretical papers at this point since I have 3 I'm currently working on).

Buddy trying to put on his pants. On his arm.

But how can anyone have 2 full-time jobs and not go insane? Because right now, I feel like I'm going crazy. So how do I balance work and my amazing toddler? I scale back. Willing it will make it happen, right? I'm going to say yes, so here goes. I am going to finish this degree. I am going to pick up Buddy a little earlier every day. I am going to exercise and eat healthy and take some mental time for myself.

Then I am going to get a job. Exactly what that is, I don't know. I'm leaving my options open for now and applying to anything that looks appealing. Academics, industry, motherhood. All of it. I am determined to mesh my scientific curiosity with my mothering instincts. The best way for me to do this is to keep one foot in the working world and one foot in my son's world; both firmly planted. This means I will spend time reading the newest studies, looking up the best way to help Buddy work through his newest struggle (currently Buddy wants to dress himself, but hasn't figured out exactly how to get his arms in the correct arm hole from the inside of his shirt) and researching ways to improve the world through environmental remediation (taken broadly that means carbon sequestration, waste water, cleaning spills, etc.). Basically, I know I can make the world a better place, both in terms of the broader community and our family.

Calculating some results!

This also means I need to find more ways to integrate science into the lives of kids. Of all ages. It's a mission of mine to get kids more interested in science because too few of us grow up asking questions and figuring out the answers. School kind of beats that out of us, for the most part. To give the teachers credit, it's really hard to get 30 kids to work with you while giving them some freewill to experiment. It's messy. It's time consuming. But most of all, it's fun. Yes, I said it. Science is fun. So expect more science experiments with Buddy and hopefully some friends while I sort out the rest of my life!

(And thanks in large part to The Hubs who is always more supportive than he could ever know, who is there for me, cheering me on as I change my goals and ideas of what I want as a career.)